A Reluctant Acceptance of Toddler Independence and the Morning Routine

We all have our morning routines, those little rituals that help us transition from groggy-eyed sleepiness to ready-for-the-day mode. Before kids, my morning routine was a leisurely affair involving some snooze button action, infinite scrolling, sneaking in a workout, and getting myself dressed and presentable for the day. No fuss, no frills. I'm sure you can relate.

But, I've had many years of practice... and I'm not under the age of 5. Kids learn and grow in so many wonderful and frustrating ways during the 'first five'. They become more self-sufficient, unwilling to compromise, and convinced that they know just as much as their moms and dads.

My son, a spirited and determined soul, decided he was ready to take on some of the morning routine by himself. This newfound independence became especially crucial when our daughter arrived when he was just over two years old - the start of his path to toddler independence. Suddenly, I found myself juggling two little humans in the morning, and I became solely responsible for the early morning childcare duties (as my husband is boots on, and laced up at work before the sun rises). That meant the entire morning routine - doubled.

Initially, I was relieved when my son started showing more independence in getting ready. It meant less on my already brimming plate. But with this newfound independence came a challenge I didn't anticipate: the "same pair of shoes" fixation.

I encouraged him to choose his own clothes, and we even tried to discuss outfits the night before to make mornings smoother. However, we got stuck in a cycle where he insisted on wearing the same pair of shoes every day.

Can you relate to this scenario with your child's favorite sweater, pajamas, slippers, or beloved "lovie"?

In our case, it was a pair of red shoes.

Here's the backstory: My son needed new sneakers, and we took him to the store to try some on. He actually preferred a different pair, but for some reason, my husband and I thought the red ones were "cooler". Maybe the vibrant color gave him a bit of "kid swagger," or perhaps it was just the fact that we thought they were different than normal toddler shoes. We told him the red shoes were exceptionally cool, and he should definitely pick them. We even said they probably make him run fast, so he tested out on the flourescent walkway in the store. Well, he bought what we were selling and insisted on wearing them out the store, tags and all.

Little did we know that these red shoes would become the center of his universe. He wore them every single day, no matter the occasion. He could put them on by himself (which was a win for autonomy), they made him feel fast and cool (cue Mr. Show Off), and he was stubborn as a mule (thanks, Dad). So, the red shoes became an essential part of his daily attire, and they bore the brunt of his adventures.

As time passed, and he grew older and "kid-wiser", he finally understood that those beloved red shoes were falling apart. He reluctantly started wearing other pairs. But guess what? I went back to the store, and they were on clearance! As any loving mom would do, I bought him a backup pair one size up. I couldn't resist.

I stuck the shoes up high in his closet so he wouldn't see them. We were going on a few weeks of wearing different shoes for weather and activity appropriate themes. It was going great. He was finally ready to give them up. And I just pitied his poor little boy heart. So, when he "accidentally" discovered the back up pair of shoes in the closet, I relented and let him start wearing them. I mean, his feet had practically grown out of the other pair, so a size up was just appropriate.

In the end, the "Red Shoes, Best Shoes" saga was a testament to the quirks and idiosyncrasies of toddlerhood. It taught me that even in the chaos of morning routines and stubborn preferences, there's room for patience, understanding, and a little bit of indulgence. So, as we navigate our mornings with growing kids, let's remember that their favorite things, whether it's red shoes or a cherished stuffed animal, are all part of the beautiful, messy journey of parenthood.

What's your routine look like? And if the answer is 'chaos'...

Same girl, same!

Check out our newest book if you're feeling frisky: "Red Shoes, Best Shoes"